I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
