If that was your dad, he is hot
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
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I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
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He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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