i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Pants are for mortals
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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