It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
