$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
