he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Randomize