Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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