The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Damn victory sex feels great
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
