Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
