I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
