I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
The beers last night were like the tears from god
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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