The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
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It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's