My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.