ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
