butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??