We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
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he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
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im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.