Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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