I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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