You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
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my phone cant type all the emotion im having
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Don't EVER smell your tampon
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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