i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.