the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.