i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
19 Utterly Perfect Responses To ‘Send Nudes’ Texts
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die