I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
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An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
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It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW