sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.