If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
