Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
