Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just forgot I was standing up.
When are your genitals available?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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