don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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