she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize