Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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