I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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