I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
