she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
