I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
