That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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