Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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