can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize