OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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