Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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