She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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