WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I need a hoe opinion
go on
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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