Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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