we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
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this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
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The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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