That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
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