i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
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