You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
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