In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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