i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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