YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused