I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
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Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
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We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.