Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number