Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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