I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
