Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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