I accidentally had phone sex last night
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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