I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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