U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.