this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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